why do i have a file saved named pizza_babe.gif
oh that’s why ok
Sometimes I think about giving up. I like to think it would be easier that way, but I then I remember I was born for a reason. Maybe it was for me to become a teacher and inspire a teenager, in a way my teachers have, like I dream about doing or maybe it’s a reason that I don’t know about yet. Regardless, there’s a reason and giving up would cease that reason. So I guess that’s why I just keep on going when things get tough.
why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
*sighs* because the ‘pee’ is silent
no because it’s dead
This is a very serious text post with no hidden meaning.
a pizza boy stands in the kitchen groaning at the night shift he has to work at when he could be watching the oscars but then suddenly the phone rings and his eyes light up at the words “hello this is ellen and i’ll need 99 boxes of pizza delivered to the dolby theatre asap”
Okay never say that period pains aren’t that bad because one time I had an ovarian cyst that burst before they found it, and when the doctor saw how big it was, he asked me, “How were you not screaming in pain?”
And my response was, “Oh, I thought they were just cramps.”
Jared Leto just accepted an award for playing a trans woman and did not mention trans people even once.
the annual scholastic book fair was the only reason i didn’t drop out of elementary school